Big decisions for the future

I've got this idea, it started when I came back from my time off and got back into work. I realised I'm not passionate about this work anymore. I'm tired of sitting at a desk and staring at a computer. I'm tired of the demands on my time as well as people expecting me to do twice as much work as everyone else.

I have known it for some time but the fear of something different, the fear of such a big change and stepping out of my comfort zone has kept me standing still. I had other big goals I wanted to cross off my list first. Things like a new car, buying a house, looking after my health. It felt like to much to do all these things and find myself a new job. More than that I didn't just want another job. I want to be my own boss, even if that means working 7 days, working holidays, and the stress and worries that come with being a business owner.

I want my job to be part of my life. Like the garden I am working on I want to wake up and look forward to the day ahead and have a list of things I can look forward to doing. I want to work inside and outside. I want movement in my day. I want to follow the seasons and be more aware of the changes in nature. Right now I'm so wrapped up in someone else's business and getting things done for them that I hardly notice anything outside of my cubicle.

Life is so short. Just last night I had a call from my parents to let me know that my Uncle has suffered a stroke. It feels so surreal to have a family member become ill. It brings home how vulnerable we all are and how precious each and every day really is.

So I'm planning. I'm spending real time putting together a plan of action and I'm going to really make things happen for myself. I'm going to design a business that I want to wake up to every day. I'm going to design a business that will help and involve the local community as well as being profitable.

I want a space that will be big enough to hold festivals to celebrate the sabbats, to keep a large garden full of flowers, vegetables, and herbs. I want a space to hold classes, I'll rent it out to other people who want to hold classes as well. I want a store and cafe on the property that link to the garden. The garden will encourage local wildlife and will be a safe and happy place to visit each and every day. While I plan I'll visit other businesses and see how they have done it and I'll make note of things I want to include in my business.

It feels so good to share this dream I have been holding close to my heart for such a long time. I don't want to live my live without trying this. It's going to be a huge undertaking and there is a lot of risk in any venture such as this. It will take time, and there will be a lot of money involved. So I better get to work.

Day 30 of 366


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