Practical Magic for Heartbreak and Breakups

Love is one of the universe's most powerful entities, especially when we lose it. A breakup has the potential to completely possess us.

Our thoughts and actions are no longer our own but controlled by an unholy mix of grief and fear and rejection that cause us to say or do things we know are not in our best interest. 

If you're looking for revenge or a means of making your ex feel guilty/bad or even want you back you won't find those things here. All of the spellcraft I mention here is about healing, letting go of fear and rejection, and taking back the control you feel you've lost. Moving on from a deep connection with someone is never easy, the magic I share here comes from a place of peace and love that I hope you can feel before long. 

Moving on is not a science, there is no going back to who you were before. And while you have already changed, there's no avoiding the internal work required to move past your grief. 

Spellcraft can provide a guide to helping you process your experiences. There are meditative rituals that require you to look inward and concentrate on what you want to manifest, which is therapeutic in its own right. Sometimes you may need more than solitary practice so I'd always recommend combining your practice with therapy if you are struggling to heal or dealing with deep trauma. 

The aim is to learn and grow into the kind of person you can be proud of, to know your likes and dislikes now that you don't need to compromise on things for the sake of a partner. To use spells, rituals, potions, and practices to move forward and heal the broken parts of yourself. To spend time with yourself and rediscover your dreams and goals, whatever they may be. A glow-up, if you will.

My Heartbreak 

I was with my partner for seven years until this month, and ending things was possibly the hardest thing I have ever had to do. We were comfortable and things were ok. We'd been through some hiccups and I felt that things didn't feel like I thought they would. I would try and talk about my needs and the growth I wanted to experience together but he was not at all receptive. He would get closed off and ignore my wishes until I stopped speaking up. I was ready to commit to a life together and figure out what that would mean for each of us and how it would all come together. But he had always been a reactive person, leaving things to the last before taking action and usually waiting for someone else to make the decisions.  

I'd made my plans and intentions clear to him and he wouldn't meet me where I was at. I had left things as they were for years, too afraid to lose the love I had but  It was hard to leave him behind and start a new solo path but I couldn't keep denying what I wanted. I want a house that my partner and I can share, I want to have date nights and plan weekends away. I want to be with someone who wants to share their life with me, someone with the same values and shared dreams.  

I knew I had caused him pain in ending things, I felt it in full force myself and the guilt of being the cause of his pain was all-consuming. I would have days where it would replay over and over in my mind. I’d check my phone out of habit and feel my stomach twist every time I didn’t see a message from him. We went no communication for two weeks and then arranged to meet and give each other the items we’d still had at each other’s homes. When you deeply love someone, a breakup can feel like part of your soul has been ripped out your chest. Breakups aren’t just emotional torture—they can even feel physically painful.

Without proper distraction or activity my mind would drift to ‘what-if’ scenarios. My thoughts would swing from “I should have done this years ago” to “what am I supposed to do without him”. Journaling my thoughts and worries really helped me process my feelings and get things clear in my mind. Most of the time it helped clean out my head of the whirlwind of thoughts assaulting my mind when I tried to sleep. 

Practical Magic for Heartbreak 

My first step to healing was to admit to myself that I’d made the only choice I felt I could make. It was not easy and even with all of the pain and confusion I knew it was the right decision for both of us. I wasn’t being fair staying in a relationship I felt was not meeting my needs and I was robbing him of the opportunity to find someone who wanted all of the same things he wanted. I had fought for us, I had made my needs clear and reassessed my expectations and communicated them. I realised I was the only one trying to make it work and that at the end of the day we wanted different things. 

When I accepted this as the truth it made dealing with the guilt easier. It would still come up and I would worry that I wasn’t able to be there to help him through this but I would remember this was the right decision and we would both come through it ok. I am so grateful that I have friends and family to support me during challenging times. And also that I have my craft to turn to when I feel lost and unsure of myself. 

Some of the practical things I did to help change some of my habits were to box up anything that would make me think of him. I had already given back his things and I didn’t have many items that would trigger me but putting them away helps me to focus on other things and not re-living it over and over. I have a new game on my phone that I substitute for checking messages. Each time I pick up my phone and see no text messages I open the app and play a bit of my game instead. This has been such a welcome distraction and a fun way to change my mind-set from loss to gain. 

As part of healing and moving on I have been doing daily affirmations and wearing my favourite colour along with my Amethyst as it is believed to have a soothing, comforting vibration. If you’re feeling anxious about a break-up, keeping amethyst next to your bed or in your crystal water bottle might help ease your stress. I have also prepared a ritual to perform after the next full moon as the waning moon is the ideal time for this kind of ritual. It’s 

Cord cutting is a very useful form of energetic cleansing used to help separate yourself from toxic people and experiences from the past or present. Most witches use cord cutting rituals to move on from breakups. It simply severs unhealthy ties between you and another person, helping you to let go without directing any harm at anyone. 

Cord cutting requires self-reflection, honesty, and the willingness to take a scary leap that can help your life move on to healthier, more beautiful relationships. There are many ways to cut cords. You can cut cords mentally by visualizing it in your head or using actual thread and scissors. 

While such visualizations can be extremely powerful, it’s sometimes helpful to use actual cords so you can see and hold them, and witness the process take place. Cord cutting can be done on an as-needed basis but I have chosen to wait for the waning phase of the moon as is a great time to perform such rituals. Breakups don’t exactly coordinate with the lunar calendar so there is no need to wait if you find you are struggling to let go and move on.

I am using the craft as a tool to accept and embrace the present moment and whatever the current situation might be. The best way to get over a broken heart is to let time heal it. If thoughts and memories are constantly coming to you, accept them and watch them come and go without dwelling in them. The ritual I have put together is unique for me but I encourage you to adjust it to your needs should you be in need of something similar. 

Emotional Unbinding: A Ritual to ease heartache and help you move on from past relationships

Location: My bedroom. I have an altar in my bedroom and I also feel this is the space that needs the most cleansing and is the most personal to me.  

Time: Start this ritual during the waning moon, around 3 days after you see the full moon in the sky. The energy of this lunar phase is linked with getting rid of emotional burdens and ties that can hold us back.

Equipment & Tools: 

• A length of Natural Twine (must be safe to burn, I'm using about 30cms)
• Ritual knife 
• A blue candle, a black candle, and a white candle 
• Cauldron 
• Pen & paper 

The Ritual 

Begin by creating a safe and protected circle. Have the equipment and tools ready on your altar and you can begin. 

Step 1

Take time to close your eyes, breathe deeply, and attune to this person’s energy. Try to come into a place of compassion, as much as possible. 

Step 2

When you feel grounded and calm, light all three candles and position them around your cauldron. 

Step 3

Use pen and paper to write a message to the universe. Allow yourself to dive deep into your emotions and let yourself feel everything that comes up. Write about the lessons you've learned and look for gratitude for what you have been through. Be intentional with your energy and make sure you are clear with the purpose of your writing. You are allowed to feel sad or to cry if you need to. We're delving into your deep inner feelings and it's going to make you feel everything. The purpose of this ritual is to help you end it and feel patients, calm, and love at the other end. 

This ritual is about you and your future. You want to bring forward positive energy and leave the guilt and sadness behind. To move forward you need to be ok to say goodbye and feel confident that you can cut the emotional ties of the relationship. 

Step 4 

When your page is finished read your message out loud. When you have finished, take a deep breath and assess how you feel. If you have any other overwhelming feelings pour them into the page, let the paper absorb the emotions, and hold them in its fibers. 

Step 5 

Holding the page in your hands, rip the page in half, all while visualising this tare is severing the power the relationship has over how you feel. You've removed the strongest memories and poured them into the page. Now you are taking away their power. Continue to rip those page halves in half again until you are satisfied.

Step 6 

Take the first piece of torn paper and use your first candle to burn it. Once it's aflame drop it in your cauldron. Take the next piece and use the second candle to burn it and then drop it into the cauldron. Do the same with the next piece and your third candle. Remind yourself that the relationship and that phase of your life are over and you are ready to move forward onto better and brighter things. Follow this process with each of the pieces of paper and your candles until there are none left.  

Step 7 

Pick up the twine and hold it in both hands. Close your eyes and meditate on your connection to the person you are cutting ties with. Think about your love and empathy for them and visualise one end being connected to you and them to the other. 

Step 8

Fold the twine in half and place your ritual knife in the fold of the twine. Now send a message by repeating the following spell:    

________ (person’s name), thank you for the lessons learned and the love shared. I now release the ties that bind. I now claim that which is mine. The love we shared has found its end, I am letting go so my heart will mend. 

Step 9

Use the ritual knife to cut the string, severing the energy and connection between you. Take the twine and place it into your cauldron using your black candle to set it alight. 

Step 10

End the ritual with deep breaths and by focusing your mind on wrapping yourself in positive energy. Surround yourself with your favourite colour and breath it in. Remember that while the relationship is over and the ties have been cut, you have not lost anything. Love runs deep within you and is abundant. You have more, not less. 

Blow out your candles and close your circle. There will be dregs of paper and twine leftover, they hold no more energy or power now that you have burned them away but feel free to flush them down the toilet or bury them in the earth to remove them. Personally, I like to add them to my fire to finish them off and turn it all to ash to be used in my garden.